Lessons from the studio and beyond

There are lots of Five-Ways-To-Change-Your-Life-Really-Fast, etc. articles available online. Advice is easier now than ever to come by. Got a problem? Have a question? Just type it in at the top of the screen. Really fast. Pick a popular online sage and search their vast collection of public pondering.

Any yet, when the computer is turned off life still has its challenges; the Internet hasn’t changed everything or even much of anything. And problems remain. Positive change is often elusive and usually takes a very long time.

And with that less-than-inviting introduction, what follows is a brief reflection on a few lessons learned in the midst of a rather large creative project. Well, it was large for us anyway. People make music and CD’s all the time. But Misfits & Moonbeams was the first recording project that I have been a part of. And I only dropped in at the studio briefly at the beginning and the very end.

So what did I learn during that time? And what could I say that might be helpful along the way?

1. Don’t try too hard to please everyone or even yourself

Most people have likely heard most of this before. But it’s worth repeating. No matter what you do, some people will like it and some people won’t. That’s life. For that matter, some days you will like what you do and some days you won’t. Feelings come and go. When it comes to music, there are 18,000 different options and a wide variety of personal preferences. All the opinions and preferences out there and “in there” can make a person crazy.

Pleasing others and pleasing yourself are both important, even very important, secondary goals to keep in mind. If either is completely ignored for an extended period of time there will be serious problems. Each artist has to take the time to find their own voice. And music is made to be listened to and appreciated and enjoyed. But there is much more to life than just trying to please a bunch of people including yourself.

Trying to please God, for example, can come across as being corny and cliché. And it can seem complicated at times. But pursuing what God wants whether in music or art or in life makes much more sense as a primary goal than trying to please incredibly diverse, sometimes fickle, often insecure, and occasionally very confused people.

2. Some decisions involve moral issues but many don’t

Once again, this is nothing new; and yet, this point can be easily forgotten. There were moral issues, matters of right and wrong, involved in this recording project. The main one had to do with what is often known as stewardship. The idea being that what has been given to each person (and each person has been given something) is intended to be used.

To state things personally and plainly, if I don’t do anything with what I have been given I am clearly in the wrong. Or, if I attempt to live as if I have been given what I have not been given, again I am in the wrong. The right thing to do, is to be who I am for the benefit of others, to make sure to discover and then use the specific gifts received from an incredibly generous God.

In case you were wondering, I am not particularly good at writing meaningful music and don’t pretend to be. But my wife is. She just seems to do this all the time. It comes naturally. She really enjoys it. And she has been doing this for years. My abilities and interests have more to do with writing and speaking and organizing things.

That being said, that are probably 10,000 ways each person can go about making use of what has been given. For example, Sharlene didn’t really need to make an album in order to share her music – but that is one method she chose. And most of the creative decisions along the way were largely non-moral issues. It didn’t matter so much whether the percussion came in on the first verse or the second. Either way, life would go on.

3. Searching is required to find people who need what you have

This is to say that promoting yourself and marketing what you have isn’t such a bad thing after all. The problem is that most noble things have been corrupted in this world, and marketing is one of them. But if someone has a good well on their land, it might be a good idea to look for people who could make good use of all that water. Don’t you think?

Somewhere along the way, I read about how much time and effort and money Steve Bell invests in order to let people know about his latest recording projects. It’s a lot. The amount of money he typically spends would surprise you. But most people don’t just intuitively know about everything automatically. It is no offence to say that somebody usually needs to take the time to tell them.

If I don’t take the time to let people know about something I have to offer, who will? Authentic spirituality and a measure of passivity can go together sometimes. The idea isn’t to be pushy. But all too often, there is too much passivity and not enough spiritually motivated and individually specific activity. And yes, I had to learn this the hard way.

So I spent the past three months letting as many people as possible know about Sharlene’s debut CD. Basically, this was my full-time job. And even now, there is work that remains.

My responsibility

As you may have noticed, each one of us has a limited amount of time, energy, and money. Yes, I know, especially money. We just can’t be all things to all people or do absolutely everything for everyone. It’s impossible. And life gets crazy – really crazy – if we try.

But how do we know what is our responsibility and what is not our responsibility? This simple question is not always easy or straightforward to answer. Part of the problem is that each person is unique: We are similar and yet different. So my answer won’t look exactly the same as yours.

If, however, there was a reliable way to be able to say, “This is my responsibility and that is not!” we would find ourselves in a much better position. By way of a few examples, then:

We could avoid getting sidetracked so quickly
We could focus our time and energy more effectively
And we wouldn’t feel as frazzled and frustrated

Here is a brief exercise that could help you begin to clarify what you are personally responsible for. And it is quite simple, really.

Take a sheet of paper and draw three parallel lines that create four separate sections on your page. Then in the top left-hand corner write, “What is not my responsibility.” May I suggest that you emphasize the word “NOT” dramatically. If you have small children, bring one of them in with their crayons and let them go to work on this word.

You will be able to come up with all sorts of things that you are not responsible for. To get you started, though, here is what I wrote under this heading on my page: “I am not responsible to solve every problem facing every single person on this planet. God can, but I can’t”

Moving to the right, imagine that the first line you meet on the page is a concrete wall much like a temporary barricade yet up on a highway construction site. It is possible to regularly cross this line with extra effort, but it isn’t a good idea.

Then, from the vantage point of the second section of the page, write, “What is possibly my responsibility” at the very top. When in doubt, it is a good idea to begin with what is obvious and work towards what is less clear. This is where you will write down issues and situations that leave you scratching your head and wondering. It would be entirely appropriate to draw a question mark, or maybe a few, somewhere in this section.

Here in Canada, a runaway train loaded with oil recently slammed into a small town and burst into flames destroying much of the downtown core. Naturally, many people felt horrible about this tragedy and wanted to help in any way they could. All sorts of businesses began raising funds for the people in this town. But I wasn’t sure if this was a cause that I should attempt to support in a significant way or not. I just wasn’t sure. It was difficult to decide.

Crossing the second line, which appears to be a neat row of pylons a vehicle could drive through, you reach the other side. At the top of this section write, “What is partly my responsibility.” As you may have guessed, this is where you will record the tasks and projects and duties which you clearly share with other people. In many cases, you know that you have a role to play even though it isn’t the main part.

I don’t know how things work in your home, but in ours my wife tends to make most of the meals while I usually deal with the dirty dishes. Creativity is her strong point while dealing with background grunt work is my forte.

The final boundary line is the least obvious. Picturing a bright yellow line running down a piece of pavement should do. This fourth and final section is the most important and brings us to the main point of this entire exercise.e. For this is where you will write down, “What is my responsibility.” To hammer the point home more clearly you could write, “What is obviously and undeniable my responsibility!” And yes, it may be time to bring Billy back in with his crayons and set him to work on another word.

This is what you would read at the very top if this section on my page: “It is my responsibility to clarify my career and life direction. I can’t expect anyone to do this for me.” I need to decide and so do you.

*This post is also available in a YouTube video format

On taking chances

You will need to be willing to take some risks in order to move ahead in your life. Be careful, though, about the type of risks you take – particularly when they involve other people.

Here is a little song to play in the back of your mind if you are about to impulsively embark on an incredibly risky venture. Get “Take a Chance on Me” by ABBA playing in the back of your mind. Then, imagine that you are driving with a friend in your car, that a gas station is just up ahead, and that the gas gauge is getting really low.

Take a chance, take a chance, take a chance…

Take a Chance with Me

I won’t change my mind, we can’t wait in line

Hey, gas ain’t free

Take a chance with me

And you need me, really, cuz this is my car

We’re going that way, and we’re going far

You’d like to fly, fly far away

Still here I see

Take a chance with me

Gonna keep on driving, till the tank is almost dry

Push the pedal down, drive right on by

Take a chance with me

(The gauge is getting lower)

Take a chance with me

We could get stranded, we could be walking, many miles together

Listen to your yelling, very little talking, things could better

Oh, I know you’ve got

So much that you wanna do, when you catch up with me

It’s tragic

We didn’t make it there, okay it isn’t fair

You told me so

But I had to go

No, I won’t change my mind, we can’t wait in line

Hey, gas ain’t free

Take a chance with me

And you need me, really, cuz this is my car

We’re going that way, and we’re going far

You’d like to fly, fly far away

Still stuck here I see

Take a chance with me

Gonna keep on driving, till the tank is almost dry

Push the pedal down, drive right on by

Take a chance with me

(Maybe I should have driven slower)

Take a chance with me

Oh, you should take a pill, not be in such a fury, no you won’t catch up with me

You might wanna really hurt me, but buddy don’t worry, I ain’t gonna let you

Let me take a bow

My feet are fast enough to flee when things get rough

Or it’s tragic

You say you’ll take your time, can’t get this off your mind

You can’t let it go

Yes, you told me so

I won’t change my mind, we can’t wait in line

Hey, gas ain’t free

Take a chance with me

And you need me, really, cuz this is my car

We’re going that way and we’re going far

You’d like to fly, fly far away

Still here with I see

Take a chance with me

Gonna run my very best, quickly flee

Put this old car to the test, took a chance with me

Ah ah ah ah aaaah, ah ah ah ah aaaah!

Hey, gas ain’t free

You took a chance with me

Gonna run my very best, quickly flee

Put this old car to the test, took a chance with me

(Took a chance, took a chance, took a chance with me)

Ah ah ah ah aaah, ah ah ah ah aaah!

Hey, gas ain’t free

You took a chance with me

{Repeat and fade}

“Hello…911? Yeah, I have a little problem”

Personality and problems galore

Your personality will make a big difference in terms of how you view life. Attitude is also important, to be sure. Early childhood influences count. Family relationships matter. Friends can shape your thinking. Lots of things can make a difference in your perspective. If, however, you find yourself naturally focusing on what is wrong with the world (and there is a lot to focus on) rather than on what is right with it…realize that this could be, in part, because of your personality.

Sanguines are often so focused on enjoying people that they hardly notice problems. Cholerics are just too busy running things and making stuff happen to care. Phlegmatics notice, but because of their easy-going nature problems are no big deal. Hakuna matata! But, some melancholics reading this and notice and notice – everything that is wrong everywhere – and your thinking is clouded by anxiety. Stress is your constant companion. Worry is your middle name. And something is going to snap someday.