By dealing with your pain


Hurt people…hurt people.

This is an observation that certainly is not original with me. And I only mention it here for two simple reasons:  

First of all, if you want to move ahead in your career and your life, it is critical to learn how to deal with major hurts and disappointments in a positive manner. For you will experience pain and hurt in this world; physical, emotional, or spiritual trauma will find you – even in the best of situations. Count on it.        

The danger is that these major “problems” can take over your life. It is possible to become so preoccupied with your own personal pain and grief and regret, that almost all of your energy goes into lashing out (consciously or sub-consciously) or perhaps, just as destructively, lashing in. Something wonderful happens…and, yes, you may remember it even for years to come. Something terrible happens and life seems to grind to a halt. People stop functioning normally. Time stands still. You..can’t…seem…to…move.  

The second reason I mention this, is because folks from various parts of the world visit this website and read these posts. Some may have experienced incredible suffering and hardship. While I do not want to minimize the difficulties faced by many of my fellow Canadians, or my American neighbours to the south, it is fair to say that lots of people around the world would love to have our problems.

I vividly recall flying back to Canada after living abroad (I have lived in West Germany, Lithuania and Kenya) and feeling like I was coming back to a small, safe haven in a crazy world.

More recently, I have been reading Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. If you are not familiar with this famous book, you will soon discover that he is talking about finding meaning even in the midst of great suffering; he is referring to the 3 years or so he spent in concentration camps like Auschwitz during the second world war. 

The question is this: How can you at least begin to move ahead in your career and in your life if you have experienced a staggering amount of suffering and pain in your life?

Seeking the advice and insight of a professional counsellor may be the first thing that you need to do. There is no shame in that. For you have got to find a way to deal with what is going on inside you if you want to move ahead and make a difference with your life.

Hurt people may often hurt people. People who have found healing help.

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