Who am I?
- At September 18, 2013
- By Nathan
- In Career & Life Planning
0
Have you ever stopped long enough to consider this question? And do you have an answer? Do you know who you are?
This basic question is asked by most everyone sooner or later. Even the non-introspective types take it on their tongues; that is, when all the frantic activity comes to an end. A very personal question, it comes up again and again. Perhaps it is asked so often because the answer is not always immediately obvious. The answer isn’t compelling or clear.
Who am I? Who are you, really?
Maybe other curious creatures also raise this probing question. Or is it only human beings who sometimes seem perplexed? For example, what kind of thoughts would you expect to find in the brain of an average bear? What is a furry creature like a bear for, anyway? Do they wonder? And how about the specific and unique purpose of any particular hungry bear you happen to meet deep in the forest while hiking all alone?
For some reason, it’s a challenge to imagine a young grizzly bear perched high up on a mountain side peering up into the night sky and pondering the meaning of the universe and its place in it all. At least for me. If a bear was asked about his personal aspirations and identity he would probably simply say, “Give me lots of berries, a lost human hiker or two…and I’m good.”
While each person will have to work towards an answer to this lingering question, here are a few answers to avoid along the way:
1. “I am…completely defined by what other people think or say”
The other day, I had the unpleasant experience of standing in line at a fast food restaurant and being forced to listen to a disturbing conversation going on in front of me. Thankfully, I can’t remember ever listening to a conversation quite like this one.
For some reason, one older man felt compelled to put his companion or friend down in this public place. He did this again and again. I witnessed verbally abusive behaviour that was completely uncalled for. And I hope that the other man didn’t believe or accept what was said.
Most of the time, of course, the situations we find ourselves in are not as obvious or as cut-and-dried. Usually it is a good idea or rule of thumb to carefully consider what other people think and say – particularly people you are close to and respect.
But at the same time, always remember this: No influential person or party or group or culture or family member or friend can define who you truly are.
It just doesn’t work that way.
2. “I am…completely defined by what I happen to think or say”
Well then, is it possible to define yourself in absolutely any way you happen to like? Some people seem to think so.
Despite evidence to the contrary, they insist that reality must be infinitely flexible. They are apparently whoever they claim to be. And nobody is allowed to say otherwise. When the “Sez who?” question is asked, they have an answer. They are the answer.
If I say that I am a skilled metal worker or a brilliant scientist or male or female or the product of a random cosmic event, etc. then so it must be. The idea is to pretty much block everything out and then assume that the universe will adjust to fit the latest ideas that happen to be bouncing around in your head.
Shocking but true. Crazy, but all too common.
For the record, this extreme position tends to be embraced by those who claim to have lost their faith in an established philosophy or religion or faith or worldview. Oddly enough, they simultaneously seem to discover an enormous – some would say ridiculous – amount of faith in themselves.
Moving along.
3. “I am…completely defined by my understanding of what God thinks or has said”
Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t a believe-whatever-you-happen-to-like statement at all. This is a word of caution.
As you may know, there was a time when many Christians thought that a very limited number of honourable occupations were available to them. Being a pastor or missionary or teacher or nurse or full-time Christian worker of some sort got you lots of respect. But that was about it.
Thankfully, this understanding is no longer as prevalent as it once was. But given such a situation, what do you suppose might happen? Young people who are not really suited for these high-ranking roles might be tempted to force themselves to fit.
So you live and learn. Just because God has spoken doesn’t always mean that we each have a perfect understanding of what has been said.
Who am I? My creator knows who I am and what I could become. I don’t. Although I know much more now than I once did.
© Career & Life Direction 2013. All rights reserved.
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Parker’s point
- At November 16, 2012
- By Nathan
- In Career & Life Planning
0
Parker Palmer has a point.
He has something to say to young people who are starting out in life; a word of wisdom to those who have been at it for a while; and even a message for some in their senior years.
What he has to say has been said before – by many different people and in many different ways. But after putting down Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation somehow I appreciate Parker’s well-established point in a whole new way. For much of his life story is presented as a poignant illustration.
Raised to think that he could do anything, endowed with great expectation, Parker set out as an unstoppable “golden boy” only to quickly be confronted with his own failure and limitations. Oddly enough, it was after acquiring a Ph.D. from Berkeley that the cracks in his vocational direction began to show.
Looking back, he would come to realize that he was never suited for a career inside the academy. He wasn’t wired that way. If only he would have known.
But he wasn’t happy with his role as a community organizer in Washington, D.C. either. After five years it became clear that this definitely was not a fit. His strong sense was that he was living someone else’s life in the process of genuinely trying to do some good in the world. Life wasn’t working. There was too much inner tension It was time to move on, again.
What was the point of doing lots of genuinely good things that were not genuinely his to do? What was the point of trying to be someone he was not?
But, then again, what was he best suited for? What should a Parker J. Palmer type of a person be doing with his life? Midway through life, he needed to decide. The pressure was on. Unfortunately, this was not a question that was easily answered; it would take time and involve much turmoil and trouble.
His journey towards self and vocational discovery involved a decade long stopover at a Quaker community near Philadelphia called Pendle Hill. It also involved a serious battle with depression. Not that these two life events were connected. Both experiences, however, served to slowly clarify the direction his life would take.
Years of darkness and confusion would one day give way to greater light.
Trial and error. Community and reflection. Outer struggles and inner darkness. Over the years, Parker Palmer would eventually discover that he was a teacher, a writer, and an activist. That is what he was most suited for. That is what his authentic self almost insisted that he should be. Read what he has accomplished towards the end of this brief book and you might get the impression that Parker Palmer finally found his true calling.
Parker’s story is…well, Parker’s story. It may not be precisely like yours or exactly like mine. But Parker has a point nonetheless: It is very important to pay attention and listen to your life.
This internal focus may not be the whole story. But this is something you might want to seriously consider if you feel like you are living somebody else’s life.
© Career & Life Direction 2012. All rights reserved.
Training her strengths
- At June 15, 2012
- By Nathan
- In Meeting Needs
0
Clara Hughes can go faster and further than most. Watch and wait and see. Standing on the sidelines she will blast right on by before you know it. Six Olympic metals offer proof of her athletic ability and tell part of her personal story.
When it comes to speed and endurance, especially endurance, she is very difficult to beat. Let her lace-up her skates or get her on her bike and she will keep going and going and going. Fast.
In Mr. Bean’s Holiday, Rowan Atkinson may have been impressively speedy on his borrowed bike in his frustrated attempt to get to La Mer, but he can’t keep up with Clara Hughes. Few can.
Read More»StrengthsFinder 2.0
- At May 24, 2012
- By Nathan
- In Meeting Needs
0
How accurate is your vision? How clearly can you see yourself?
If you are like most people, you probably have a hard time noticing what is wrong with you and what is right with you. It may well be that neither comes easy. For whatever reason, it is an incredible challenge for many to clearly perceive personal problems and potential. Can’t seem to cut through the haze.
So major faults go undetected for years while great gifts and talents lie dormant. Such is life. Your life and mine. All too often, that is how it seems to be – for a great number of people, anyway.
As you inch towards the end of your life you begin to wonder what could have been.
Call it part of being human. Trace it back to humanity’s historic fall. Try to blame it on biology and all those conniving chemicals. Connect it to the culture in your community. But, regardless of all reasons, the glory and shame of each person’s unique humanity often remains undetected. It flies, as it were, under the radar.
And it can take much more than a moment of clarity and insight to be able to say something like, “Hello, my name is _____ and I am an alcoholic.” Or “Hi, my name is_______ (please insert your own) and I am good at _____.” It can take years. It can take a lifetime. But it doesn’t have to.
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