My responsibility

As you may have noticed, each one of us has a limited amount of time, energy, and money. Yes, I know, especially money. We just can’t be all things to all people or do absolutely everything for everyone. It’s impossible. And life gets crazy – really crazy – if we try.

But how do we know what is our responsibility and what is not our responsibility? This simple question is not always easy or straightforward to answer. Part of the problem is that each person is unique: We are similar and yet different. So my answer won’t look exactly the same as yours.

If, however, there was a reliable way to be able to say, “This is my responsibility and that is not!” we would find ourselves in a much better position. By way of a few examples, then:

We could avoid getting sidetracked so quickly
We could focus our time and energy more effectively
And we wouldn’t feel as frazzled and frustrated

Here is a brief exercise that could help you begin to clarify what you are personally responsible for. And it is quite simple, really.

Take a sheet of paper and draw three parallel lines that create four separate sections on your page. Then in the top left-hand corner write, “What is not my responsibility.” May I suggest that you emphasize the word “NOT” dramatically. If you have small children, bring one of them in with their crayons and let them go to work on this word.

You will be able to come up with all sorts of things that you are not responsible for. To get you started, though, here is what I wrote under this heading on my page: “I am not responsible to solve every problem facing every single person on this planet. God can, but I can’t”

Moving to the right, imagine that the first line you meet on the page is a concrete wall much like a temporary barricade yet up on a highway construction site. It is possible to regularly cross this line with extra effort, but it isn’t a good idea.

Then, from the vantage point of the second section of the page, write, “What is possibly my responsibility” at the very top. When in doubt, it is a good idea to begin with what is obvious and work towards what is less clear. This is where you will write down issues and situations that leave you scratching your head and wondering. It would be entirely appropriate to draw a question mark, or maybe a few, somewhere in this section.

Here in Canada, a runaway train loaded with oil recently slammed into a small town and burst into flames destroying much of the downtown core. Naturally, many people felt horrible about this tragedy and wanted to help in any way they could. All sorts of businesses began raising funds for the people in this town. But I wasn’t sure if this was a cause that I should attempt to support in a significant way or not. I just wasn’t sure. It was difficult to decide.

Crossing the second line, which appears to be a neat row of pylons a vehicle could drive through, you reach the other side. At the top of this section write, “What is partly my responsibility.” As you may have guessed, this is where you will record the tasks and projects and duties which you clearly share with other people. In many cases, you know that you have a role to play even though it isn’t the main part.

I don’t know how things work in your home, but in ours my wife tends to make most of the meals while I usually deal with the dirty dishes. Creativity is her strong point while dealing with background grunt work is my forte.

The final boundary line is the least obvious. Picturing a bright yellow line running down a piece of pavement should do. This fourth and final section is the most important and brings us to the main point of this entire exercise.e. For this is where you will write down, “What is my responsibility.” To hammer the point home more clearly you could write, “What is obviously and undeniable my responsibility!” And yes, it may be time to bring Billy back in with his crayons and set him to work on another word.

This is what you would read at the very top if this section on my page: “It is my responsibility to clarify my career and life direction. I can’t expect anyone to do this for me.” I need to decide and so do you.

*This post is also available in a YouTube video format

Information overload

Clarifying your career direction will require taking the time to find the strategic information that you need to make decisions and move ahead. Being unable to choose which direction to take often indicates that, while you may have all sorts of information bouncing around in your brain, you do not have the specific information you need right now.

So, if you feel stuck, turn off your TV/Internet/cell phone and sit down with one sheet of paper before you. Write down what you really need to know on the left hand side and how you might go about acquiring that information in a timely fashion on the right. You might be surprised how this simple exercise will focus your attention and your energy.

If you wanted to, say, plant a flower garden you would need to know what type of flowers would do well where your flower garden is going to be. It may be interesting but it really won’t help much to read up on flourishing flower gardens in Siberia – unless of course that is where you live. Once you have determined what you need to know you can figure out how to find what you need. Watching the evening news for the next 10 years might eventually provide you with that information and so would one phone call to the local flower shop.

If you wanted to learn how to provide a specific, marketable, tangible service that is in demand, like nursing care, you could then easily determine the research that is required. If you really do not have any idea what you want to do your situation will be more difficult, but you can still consider how you might get to know yourself and more accurately discern your authentic desires.

Focus. Focus. Focus. Most of the information that drifts in your direction will be useless when it comes to clarifying and acquiring a career. Determine what you need to know and only then get back on the Internet and the phone in order to find it.