Hope on the horizon
- At December 28, 2013
- By Nathan
- In Career & Life Planning
- 0
Staying alive all the way through 2013 is a major accomplishment. With just a few days to go until 2014, the countdown has begun; the suspense is building. Maybe you and I will live to see the new year, but then again…maybe not. If you are up for some sober reflection, consider a few doomsday scenarios that could easily do us in.
1. Disease and natural disasters
Exactly how many contagious diseases could one person catch? More than I can count anyway. And there must be just as many meteorites zipping on by at a million miles per hour. The other day one blew up over Montreal. Sorry, but wearing a hard hat (even a very good one) isn’t going to help. Whether it’s global warming or global cooling or super-mega-crazy storms, it doesn’t take long for humanity to be humbled.
2. Terrorists and global tyrants
On top of that, in case anyone forgot, we live in an age of military madness. Yes, one little nuclear bomb can still ruin your whole day; and quite a few countries are packing – eventually, Iran might be one of them. Blowing things up is a pastime that appeals to a large number of people. With all the combined conventional and nuclear firepower, a visitor to this planet might get the impression that we are preparing for Armageddon. Maybe we are.
3. Cruelty and human hatred
Oh, and in case you haven’t noticed, a lot of people down here don’t like each other. Media companies could easily talk about nothing but slander and assault and lawsuits and quarrels and threats and deadly violence. Over in New York City, and sadly in other places as well, some people enjoy randomly punching strangers and knocking them out just for fun. There is enough human hatred to keep a small army of journalists occupied, even if they only focus on the war against Christians in Africa and the Middle East.
Survival in itself is something to celebrate. In many countries, the odds of staying alive for very long are not good. Even in comparatively safe and stable countries, threats to life and liberty abound.
Whatever differences there may be between us, you and I have two things in common: We are both mere mortals and we both live in a world plagued with problems. It is in this context that we must each attempt to do what we can to make a difference.
So don’t get caught off guard by suffering and pain and problems – and even death – in the new year. These things have been part of this fallen world for quite some time now. And don’t waste your time blaming God and wondering why your little part of the planet hasn’t been protected or spared. These mysteries are beyond our understanding.
There are, of course, some who view the so-called “problem of pain” as a knock-down argument countering the conviction that there is a loving and powerful God. This ancient problem (it is nothing new) basically has four parts: the reality of suffering, the existence of God, the belief that God is good, and the conviction that this God is all-powerful. If you remove any of these parts, you don’t have a problem anymore. But if you add one more (i.e. God is much smarter than us) then you have a mystery.
At the same time, don’t forget that there is good reason to believe that all wrongs will be made right, and that one day most of creation will be restored to its original state. There is hope. And this hope is huge. What we know to be normal on earth now is not really normal. Not at all. In addition, keep in mind that God is present in this broken world. In other words, you and I have not been abandoned. We are not alone as we face the future.
But feelings can have a way of sneaking up behind us from time to time and overpowering our core convictions. Try not to let that happen in 2014. What we may feel at any given moment does not determine what is true or what is real. Remember that. What you know in your head may be quite different from how you feel in your heart.
And yet, feelings can also help us understand. Many are shocked and surprised and temporarily stunned when confronted by raw suffering and personal pain. We suddenly feel that suffering and pain is wrong; that it just doesn’t fit. Pain feels like an intruder, like an obnoxious and uninvited guest at a party that had been going quite well.
Happiness is more easily connected with the restoration of creation, and participation in this process, than with any particular new year. But I hope you have a very happy new year nonetheless.
Whatever happens, keep moving ahead and keep doing what you can to make a difference.
© Career & Life Direction 2013. All rights reserved.
Your distinct identity
- At December 10, 2013
- By Nathan
- In Effective living
- 0
Who could possibly have a problem with the declaration that each person has a distinct identity? What could be so bad about that? How would this observation cause harm?
And yet, from what I have recently discovered via Dallas Willard, some people strongly oppose this message because it implies that you and I are unable to completely define ourselves; and apparently, they don’t like that. Go figure.
No one is invincible or infinitely flexible. And people know that. Deep down, they know.
If we are honest, though, perhaps all of us have felt this way. We want to be what we know we are not. We feel inclined to do what we suspect we should not. At times, we desire to live in a world without any personal limits or boundaries. Oh, we want other people to have boundaries so we don’t get hurt…as we go about doing our own thing. If only life worked that way.
For some reason, we feel that the options available to us are not near enough. It is so difficult to be creative and content with what we have been given. And so, human beings have a bizarre tendency to keep pushing and pushing until we can finally impersonate our Creator. Would you agree?
But a small dose of reality quickly reminds me that I am never going to be a professional ballerina or a flamboyant extrovert. Not in a million years. And no matter how hard I try. This is definitely not going to happen. Admittedly, ridiculous observations like this are not controversial and don’t tend to get people worked up. The I-will-define-myself-however-I-please talk usually has specific moral and often sexual implications.
Anyone who wants to live in an “anything goes” world will not be happy being reminded that there are limits and lines which are not a good idea to cross. Especially since this will likely also contradict and challenge their naturalistic ideology. Be warned: Some people really take offence if you mess with their understanding of the Secular faith. Don’t expect a friendly conversation or dialogue.
But does anyone who pushes the limitless self-definition position (atheist or otherwise) really believe what they say? I doubt it. Not unless they’ve had too much to drink the night before or the music is turned up really loud. No one is invincible or infinitely flexible. And people know that. Deep down, they know.
And yet, the claim that God created each one of us for a specific purpose – and that it is a good idea to try to figure out what that might be – is now taken to be an oppressive statement in some circles. For all I know, at this very moment some self-righteous lawyer is working behind the scenes to censor such claims as contrary to human rights. So I might as well finish this post while I still can.
A question to consider: Where do you suppose most of the freedom is to be found in the world today?
Is it over in the old Soviet Union, where oppression and control and corruption and atheism runs rampant? Hardly. Well, how about the part of the planet that can’t be mentioned without the threat of violence? Would you like to move your family over there? Then, of course, there are all the little liberal universities here in the West to consider; places where young people are encouraged to think for themselves as long as they believe what they are told. Have you ever wondered why a typical college is filled with post-modern clones?
No, it hasn’t been all sweetness and light in the West to be sure. But the oppression that has sometimes taken place in the name of Christianity pales in comparison to what happens when another gospel – and particularly a naturalistic gospel – firmly takes its place. If you doubt this, attempt to do that math. Or try to picture what life might be like for your great-great-grandchildren.
Sure, I can sympathize with anyone who has been stamped with some sort of label or definition which served to distort their true identity. It is sad to hear about such things. It really is. And we have probably all done this at one time or another. This type of distortion and abuse happens everywhere – even in church. But again, this only really matters if you and I have a firm identity in the first place.
If it’s okay to define yourself however you please, what is to prevent someone with more power from defining you however they please? And if it comes down to who can yell the loudest, who do you think will win?
© Career & Life Direction 2013. All rights reserved.
Obsessing about Rob Ford
- At November 09, 2013
- By Nathan
- In Leadership
- 0
Being the same age as Rob Ford, I can’t remember a time when the mayor of Toronto received such extensive and relentlessly negative attention; it just seems to go on and on and on, making a person wonder if this media frenzy will ever end. Other Canadian mayors must be incredibly relieved that the cameras and microphones and editorials and columns and tomatoes are aimed consistently at Rob Ford and not them.
What do you think? What could possibly explain this narrow and nasty focus on one particular person and one specific politician? This obsessive behaviour isn’t normal, is it? Surely, it calls for an explanation. But what are the options?
Has this undesirable special treatment resulted because Rob Ford is obviously unfit to govern this metropolis? This is one possibility. But is this a fact that is plain for all to see? Most of the voters in the Etobicoke North ward and many of the 2.6 million people in Toronto wouldn’t agree. Mr. Ford has been on city council for over a decade and has been elected to office four times.
Well then, is this because Toronto – Canada’s largest city – has recently been recognized as the undisputed center of this nation and therefore worthy of undivided and even fanatical attention? Hardly. Maybe this description was true 20 years ago, but at the moment Ontario appears to be in an overall state of decline. Toronto is a big player, but comparatively not as big as it once was. Power and influence is shifting; but even if it wasn’t, who wants to hear about any particular mayor day after day after day? No thanks.
So how about this explanation: A significant and feisty group of left-leaning journalists really don’t care much for the political position represented by Rob Ford? Could it be as simple as that?
One thing for sure, I wouldn’t want a sophisticated and yet hostile media mob following me around 24 hours a day “reporting” on my every move. Would you? This type of harassment might drive a man to drink – or worse.
Right about the time that Rob Ford apologized for smoking crack cocaine during a drinking binge (sadly, this allegation is true) I finished reading a book by Eric Metaxas called Seven Men and the Secret of their Greatness. This New York Times best-selling author writes about George Washington, William Wilberforce, Eric Liddell, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Jackie Robinson, Pope John Paul II, and Charles W. Colson in order to inspire others to do great things.
The timing couldn’t have been better. For it soon became clear that each person in this book was not perfect. Far from it. But at the same time, each one used their power and talent and abilities to serve others in remarkable ways and accomplish great things. Chuck Colson, for example, went to prison because of Watergate and then devoted much of the rest of his life to serving prisoners.
Each man lived in turbulent times and faced very difficult situations. These men took a lot of abuse in the process of trying to accomplish something that would make a difference. How about that. Sounds familiar.
Who could possibly have a problem with trying to suppress the slave trade throughout the British Empire? Just about everyone – as William Wilberforce soon found out. What was so bad about a talented black man like Jackie Robinson playing baseball in the major leagues? Oh, everything. America and Britain are allies now, but in 1776 nobody was impressed with that George fellow over there in the colonies leading that revolution.
Talk really is cheap. It’s easy to say that Hitler needed to be stopped from a safe vantage point, and quite another to actually try to stop him. Back in 1988, I remember standing where Dietrich Bonhoeffer died. He was tortured and killed in Flossenburg just before the end of the Second World War. How tragic.
A few more questions: Do you have a hero? If you had to choose, would you pick an ordinary and flawed man like Rob Ford, who nevertheless tries to do his best to serve the people living in Toronto? Or would you aspire to become an elite and corrupt journalist who continuously abuses his power in order to drive this man from office?
Sometimes it’s difficult to see the forest for all the trees. Meanwhile, some people who can’t be voted out cause more problems than the ones who can.
© Career & Life Direction 2013. All rights reserved.
Seeking and finding
- At October 20, 2013
- By Nathan
- In Effective living
- 0
We all know that it’s a good idea to get as much good advice as we can. It just makes sense. Why pretend to know more than we actually do? We’ll just end up hurting ourselves.
But this whole quest for sound advice takes time and effort. Searching for wise counsel sometimes feels like a full-time job!
In the past few weeks I have personally benefited from talking to a friendly lawyer, a couple equally friendly accountants, helpful folks at Revenue Canada (yes, these people exist), two or three knowledgeable mechanics, somebody at my bank, and a few informed family members.
Are you about to experience a frantic, advice-getting frenzy? May I suggest an extra shot of strong coffee early in the morning. Or two. The caffeine-kick will come in handy.
This recent and strenuous exercise reminds me that good counsel does not usually drift in our direction – like a bright helium balloon floating down from the sky. No, we need to go out and search for it until we find it. And yes, this takes time and involves hard work.
You likely knew that already. But perhaps I needed to be reminded – again.
For many people “hard” is out and “easy” is in. If anyone had asked, I would have suggested making everything in this world a little easier. Wouldn’t you? How about a room-service world? A “nice” world? One where everything came together for everyone all the time. You know, Hakuna matata! But nobody asked for my opinion or yours.
Effort is required on our behalf, often much more effort than we may care to admit. Although many of us are still trying to find a way to get around this.
Come to think of it, this common combination also indicates how much energy is usually required to determine what is true. Information and advice needs to be evaluated. But so do worldviews. Oh, it’s easy to be agnostic. It doesn’t take much of an effort. At all. Anybody can sit back and voice such an opinion. People do.
A couple of questions for these folks to consider: How can you expect to find out what is really true if you never really try? And why should you be surprised if critical questions remain unanswered and you feel confused?
Refusing to search for good advice means that you probably won’t find any. Not much anyway. That’s how it works. In the same way, being apathetic or casual about what is true means that you’ll likely always have reason to be agnostic. Nothing will ever change.
It works the same way with God. If you really, really want to know God…you will. If it feels like God is hidden and distant, that’s because God often is. These observations are hardly original with me. Did you ever enjoy playing hide and seek when you were a kid? If that special someone really cared they would make an effort to get to know you, wouldn’t they?
Don’t forget about the mercy and grace and initiative and generosity of God. But also remember – always remember – that we each have a role to play.
This seeking-and-finding recipe will sound simplistic to some, but may I suggest that it is often impossible to avoid. I prayed, “Oh, God…please make it quick and easy to write this blog post.” But it didn’t happen. It never does.
Of course, seeking doesn’t always come with an immediate and 100% finding guarantee. Timely advice, clear conviction, and intimacy with God may sometimes feel beyond our grasp.
But when in doubt, it is always a good idea to keep searching: to keep asking and seeking and knocking and praying and trying to understand. So don’t give up. Don’t abandon your quest.
Whatever you do, don’t quit now.
© Career & Life Direction 2013. All rights reserved.
Leah’s journey so far
- At October 12, 2013
- By Nathan
- In Career & Life Planning
- 0
Today Leah Kostamo, co-founder of A Rocha in Canada, shares lessons from her life journey
When I was twenty-one years old I heard God’s call. I was sitting on the grass outside the University of Arizona library, when I heard (with the ears of my heart, yet no less clearly than if it had been the ears of my ears!), “Go ye on staff with Campus Crusade for Christ.” And my heart sank right into my toes. This is not what I wanted to do. Firstly, because I wanted to go feed starving people in Africa. Secondly, because I wasn’t the “crusading” type.
But after three pretty miraculous confirmations, I packed my bags and headed off to the University of Idaho to fulfill Christ’s Great Commission of making disciples of all nations. Cue the big bass drum…Dum, dum, dum!
Look for that intersection between your greatest gifts and the world’s greatest needs
And I felt like I had come home. If I could have, I would have pulled up an armchair at the hearth of that school and stayed forever. But graduate school is a fast moving train and in what seemed like a nanosecond I had disembarked and was standing at another crossroads.
This time around I barely had time to pray, let alone fast. Within the span of a week, a sure-fire job fell through, a roommate made an offhand comment about a wonderful school overseas, I called the administrators of said school who said they were looking for someone with my exact qualifications, and three people independently offered to fund my posting. Et, voila! A few weeks later I was on a plane to teach at a college on the shores of the Baltic Ocean.
And again I felt like I had come home.
So, to recap:
- Existential call of God, which I heed as an act of obedience – feels good.
- Silence of God, so I follow my heart – feels like home.
- Circumstances and miraculous provision dictate call – again, home.
But the big daddy of vocational callings was still on the horizon. At thirty-two I got married and moved back to Canada where my husband Markku and I held our vocational future up to the heavens for guidance and blessing. We stood in this posture for nearly two years (long enough for our arms to get good and tired!).
By the end of that time it was clear that money was not to be a deciding factor in whatever we did. And barring a miraculous call, we would follow Frederick Buechner’s advice and look for that intersection between our greatest gifts and the world’s greatest needs.
Enter A Rocha. Weird name, I know. It means “the rock” in Portuguese and began as a Christian environmental centre on the coast of Portugal nearly 20 years previous. Imagine the Sierra Club, meets a youth hostel, ground the whole idea in Christian community, and you have a flavour of the thing.
A Rocha’s ministry of extending God’s love to all of creation was like the knitting of all the strands of our lives together. From our training in ecology and entrepreneurial leadership (Markku) and campus ministry and education (Leah) to our love for other cultures and community, the work of A Rocha was like a pair of old jeans we stepped into and found that they fit perfectly.
Even so, birthing A Rocha in Canada felt like the labour it was. There were salaries to raise, an environmental centre to acquire, staff to be found, meals to be cooked, and on and on. We shed many a tear of frustration. But more often, our eyes filled with tears of gratitude, especially as we watched the humble, but deeply good work of earthkeeping unfolding all around us; whether that looked like restoring a salmon stream or opening the eyes of a child to the beauty of creation or sitting with a struggling intern.
We watched, astounded, as the tiny seed of an idea grew into a glorious tree in which the birds of the air had come to roost (literally!).
So, to recap once again:
- No rulebook for how God calls — sometimes via a megaphone, sometimes a whisper, sometimes the call just looks like our lives.
- No rulebook for how to confirm God’s vocational calling — it always feels like home, but sometimes that home needs to be built from the ground up with blood, sweat and tears.
So, if there’s no rulebook, what is there?
Well, there’s God’s overarching call – a call to every human being on planet earth to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with God (Micah 6:8). There’s obviously lots of room for vocational creativity within that calling. Farming, parenting, painting, pastoring, frog and fungi studying — wherever and however we care for people and places with our unique gifts and skills and with an eye toward justice and love, we are sitting in the centre of our calling.
If God blasts you with a megaphone, great. If not, take a step back and take in the wonderful vocational tapestry God has been weaving with the strands of your life already. It will look like what you’re good at and what the world needs.
Leah Kostamo is the author of Planted: A Story of Creation, Calling and Community. She likes to read (and write) wise and winsome stories that inspire people to be the change they want to see in the world. She can be found online at leahkostamo.com. She ministers with A Rocha, a Christian conservation organization.
The back of the bus
- At October 05, 2013
- By Nathan
- In Career & Life Planning
- 0
So I am sitting on this bus, a big city bus, bouncing along from one lonely and depressing street to another. And slowly my bus begins to fill up.
A Hispanic man, probably in his mid-thirties, sits down across from me and quickly becomes preoccupied with his smartphone. It’s just another day. And this is texting time for him, I guess. But what else is there to do on this city bus? We sort of acknowledge each other’s existence, but try to avoid making eye contact. You know how it is. Awkward.
He looks down and I look up and away – off into the distance. There is always more concrete coming. And more of this and that and the other thing. It never seems to end.
Longing for another place inspires many to change their own
Two strangers on a big city bus.
Then, two English girls step inside and make their way to the back. They are both Caucasian and have shoulder-length hair. One is wearing dark sun glasses. Sitting down, they carry on a lively conversation and speak loud enough for everyone to hear. A little too loud. Sounds like they are good friends.
I’m not used to hearing English and almost feel guilty being able to understand what they are saying. Especially since they are talking about relationships and men and sex – right there on the bus. Mostly it’s about relationships gone bad, guys bothering them on Facebook, dates that didn’t work out, and other disappointments. The usually stuff.
Faithfulness is a foreign concept. As far as I can tell, the main point is to communicate that they are still desirable and available. It’s too bad that they struggle with their weight. Maybe, deep down, they feel like no one will ever really care. For them. Just as they are.
People continue to pour in as the bus plods along, and soon all the seats are taken.
A young girl of African descent is sitting next to me talking to her phone. I’m mean, really talking to her phone. She must have a FaceTime feature or something, although I’m not up on all these things. Once again, I can’t help but overhear the conversation. At least her side of the story.
She comes across as being happy and hopeful and confident. I hear about her plans to go back to school. Working at the restaurant will have to end then. Not enough time. She is thinking ahead. And I get the impression that she is careful with her money. She is able to communicate what she wants and has clear boundaries and goals. I am happy for her. Even though she is a stranger, I really am.
But there also seems to be an aching emptiness in her life. She wakes up and has a smoke. Goes to work and comes back home. Has another smoke and goes to bed. And that is about it. This happens over and over again. And for what purpose? Is there a purpose?
Is there more to life than this? seems to be the unspoken question. Later on, I wonder if she has ever read Ecclesiastes. Such an encouraging book in an odd sort of way.
The bus is moving faster now, and I am beginning to wish that this journey would end. I want to get off and get away and go home. To my true home. Yes, I mean heaven. It’s all broken here – in this town and in this life, in some way. It’s like this everywhere I go.
The next big city bus ride isn’t much better. The lady standing in line behind me had too much to drink and isn’t allowed to make the trip. This has happened before. And then, there’s the guy with the gun. Thankfully, they found it before he got on.
And so it goes. This time, I sit as close to the front as I can.
© Career & Life Direction 2013. All rights reserved.
Scott’s themes and axioms
- At September 25, 2013
- By Nathan
- In Career & Life Planning
- 0
Today Career & Life Direction welcomes Scott Forbes from International Justice Mission Canada
My direction in life was indelibly set one weekend when I was 14 years old and in Grade 9. A friend and his cousin invited me to a youth conference at their church; I had never been to such an event. But that was the weekend when I finally understood that Jesus was offering me forgiveness of sins – with no strings attached.
And that was the weekend that I decided to be a missionary. The latter decision was the result of the contagious enthusiasm of Burt Kamphuis, the Canadian director of Operation Mobilization. That whole weekend, Burt talked about the fact that God would not only forgive my sins, but that I could go anywhere in the world and God would be with me and go ahead of me.
Fast forward 37 years, and I can now be found working for International Justice Mission Canada as a spokesperson for victims of violent oppression in the developing world.
In the intervening years my wife, Karen, and I progressed steadily along a trajectory defined by the two pivotal themes from that weekend long ago: sins are forgiven in and through Jesus and the concrete reality of God’s global sovereign presence.
Looking back on our decision-making, I can best describe how I arrived at this point by referring to several of my life axioms. Axioms are phrases or sentences that you will find yourself repeating as life moves along. They provide an internal decision-making guide. At 20 years of age you are living by the axioms held by your parents. By 50, you have refined and replaced those axioms with truths that fit your time and circumstance.
Here are four of my axioms that may have value to you:
1. Go far and go fast
Default to options that involve the potential for getting away from your home turf. We have both a college and a university in our city, yet I required all of my children to choose their post-secondary education elsewhere. The closest of the four choices was a university only 200 km away from home, while the farthest choice was 2200 km away and involved a two-day drive.
Why such a principle? More personal growth takes place when everyday decisions are not second guessed by Mom and Dad.
2. All things being equal, do the hard thing
Default to options that involve new learning in order to be successful. This axiom does not mean that you are to make life unnecessarily difficult for yourself. It means that you should stretch your capabilities and add value to your skill set by taking on more difficult and complex tasks.
Even if you fail, you will learn important life lessons.
Why do this? This is the way to build fearlessness in a fast changing environment, where leaders are always looking for new and younger leaders to develop.
3. Never let money be the deciding factor
Do not default to the highest paying job or the school with the cheapest tuition. Money should always be kept in its place. It is only one factor amongst many that you will consider when making decisions. For example, it is trumped by axioms one and two.
A chance to move outside your comfort zone – taking on new tasks or meeting new people – is preferable to staying put within the same environment even if the status quo pays more money or costs less.
4. Remember that decisions are cumulative
Do not fall prey to the idea of “isolated decisions.” There is no such thing as an isolated decision. Each decision moves you forward and leaves certain other decisions and opportunities behind. It takes many small decisions in the same direction to become the best in your field or an alcoholic.
But it’s okay to change your mind. Sometimes it is only in the act of taking the next step that we realize that it is a step in the wrong direction. If this describes your situation, you can and should turn around sooner rather than later.
Scott Forbes is married to Karen and they live in London, ON, Canada. The have lived and served in Africa and Canada in a variety of capacities. For the last four years, Scott has been working with International Justice Mission Canada. Scott is the Director of Mobilization and Development for Eastern Canada.
Who am I?
- At September 18, 2013
- By Nathan
- In Career & Life Planning
- 0
Have you ever stopped long enough to consider this question? And do you have an answer? Do you know who you are?
This basic question is asked by most everyone sooner or later. Even the non-introspective types take it on their tongues; that is, when all the frantic activity comes to an end. A very personal question, it comes up again and again. Perhaps it is asked so often because the answer is not always immediately obvious. The answer isn’t compelling or clear.
Who am I? Who are you, really?
Maybe other curious creatures also raise this probing question. Or is it only human beings who sometimes seem perplexed? For example, what kind of thoughts would you expect to find in the brain of an average bear? What is a furry creature like a bear for, anyway? Do they wonder? And how about the specific and unique purpose of any particular hungry bear you happen to meet deep in the forest while hiking all alone?
For some reason, it’s a challenge to imagine a young grizzly bear perched high up on a mountain side peering up into the night sky and pondering the meaning of the universe and its place in it all. At least for me. If a bear was asked about his personal aspirations and identity he would probably simply say, “Give me lots of berries, a lost human hiker or two…and I’m good.”
While each person will have to work towards an answer to this lingering question, here are a few answers to avoid along the way:
1. “I am…completely defined by what other people think or say”
The other day, I had the unpleasant experience of standing in line at a fast food restaurant and being forced to listen to a disturbing conversation going on in front of me. Thankfully, I can’t remember ever listening to a conversation quite like this one.
For some reason, one older man felt compelled to put his companion or friend down in this public place. He did this again and again. I witnessed verbally abusive behaviour that was completely uncalled for. And I hope that the other man didn’t believe or accept what was said.
Most of the time, of course, the situations we find ourselves in are not as obvious or as cut-and-dried. Usually it is a good idea or rule of thumb to carefully consider what other people think and say – particularly people you are close to and respect.
But at the same time, always remember this: No influential person or party or group or culture or family member or friend can define who you truly are.
It just doesn’t work that way.
2. “I am…completely defined by what I happen to think or say”
Well then, is it possible to define yourself in absolutely any way you happen to like? Some people seem to think so.
Despite evidence to the contrary, they insist that reality must be infinitely flexible. They are apparently whoever they claim to be. And nobody is allowed to say otherwise. When the “Sez who?” question is asked, they have an answer. They are the answer.
If I say that I am a skilled metal worker or a brilliant scientist or male or female or the product of a random cosmic event, etc. then so it must be. The idea is to pretty much block everything out and then assume that the universe will adjust to fit the latest ideas that happen to be bouncing around in your head.
Shocking but true. Crazy, but all too common.
For the record, this extreme position tends to be embraced by those who claim to have lost their faith in an established philosophy or religion or faith or worldview. Oddly enough, they simultaneously seem to discover an enormous – some would say ridiculous – amount of faith in themselves.
Moving along.
3. “I am…completely defined by my understanding of what God thinks or has said”
Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t a believe-whatever-you-happen-to-like statement at all. This is a word of caution.
As you may know, there was a time when many Christians thought that a very limited number of honourable occupations were available to them. Being a pastor or missionary or teacher or nurse or full-time Christian worker of some sort got you lots of respect. But that was about it.
Thankfully, this understanding is no longer as prevalent as it once was. But given such a situation, what do you suppose might happen? Young people who are not really suited for these high-ranking roles might be tempted to force themselves to fit.
So you live and learn. Just because God has spoken doesn’t always mean that we each have a perfect understanding of what has been said.
Who am I? My creator knows who I am and what I could become. I don’t. Although I know much more now than I once did.
© Career & Life Direction 2013. All rights reserved.
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My responsibility
- At August 29, 2013
- By Nathan
- In Effective living
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As you may have noticed, each one of us has a limited amount of time, energy, and money. Yes, I know, especially money. We just can’t be all things to all people or do absolutely everything for everyone. It’s impossible. And life gets crazy – really crazy – if we try.
But how do we know what is our responsibility and what is not our responsibility? This simple question is not always easy or straightforward to answer. Part of the problem is that each person is unique: We are similar and yet different. So my answer won’t look exactly the same as yours.
If, however, there was a reliable way to be able to say, “This is my responsibility and that is not!” we would find ourselves in a much better position. By way of a few examples, then:
- We could avoid getting sidetracked so quickly
- We could focus our time and energy more effectively
- And we wouldn’t feel as frazzled and frustrated
Here is a brief exercise that could help you begin to clarify what you are personally responsible for. And it is quite simple, really.
Take a sheet of paper and draw three parallel lines that create four separate sections on your page. Then in the top left-hand corner write, “What is not my responsibility.” May I suggest that you emphasize the word “NOT” dramatically. If you have small children, bring one of them in with their crayons and let them go to work on this word.
You will be able to come up with all sorts of things that you are not responsible for. To get you started, though, here is what I wrote under this heading on my page: “I am not responsible to solve every problem facing every single person on this planet. God can, but I can’t”
Moving to the right, imagine that the first line you meet on the page is a concrete wall much like a temporary barricade yet up on a highway construction site. It is possible to regularly cross this line with extra effort, but it isn’t a good idea.
Then, from the vantage point of the second section of the page, write, “What is possibly my responsibility” at the very top. When in doubt, it is a good idea to begin with what is obvious and work towards what is less clear. This is where you will write down issues and situations that leave you scratching your head and wondering. It would be entirely appropriate to draw a question mark, or maybe a few, somewhere in this section.
Here in Canada, a runaway train loaded with oil recently slammed into a small town and burst into flames destroying much of the downtown core. Naturally, many people felt horrible about this tragedy and wanted to help in any way they could. All sorts of businesses began raising funds for the people in this town. But I wasn’t sure if this was a cause that I should attempt to support in a significant way or not. I just wasn’t sure. It was difficult to decide.
Crossing the second line, which appears to be a neat row of pylons a vehicle could drive through, you reach the other side. At the top of this section write, “What is partly my responsibility.” As you may have guessed, this is where you will record the tasks and projects and duties which you clearly share with other people. In many cases, you know that you have a role to play even though it isn’t the main part.
I don’t know how things work in your home, but in ours my wife tends to make most of the meals while I usually deal with the dirty dishes. Creativity is her strong point while dealing with background grunt work is my forte.
The final boundary line is the least obvious. Picturing a bright yellow line running down a piece of pavement should do. This fourth and final section is the most important and brings us to the main point of this entire exercise.e. For this is where you will write down, “What is my responsibility.” To hammer the point home more clearly you could write, “What is obviously and undeniable my responsibility!” And yes, it may be time to bring Billy back in with his crayons and set him to work on another word.
This is what you would read at the very top if this section on my page: “It is my responsibility to clarify my career and life direction. I can’t expect anyone to do this for me.” I need to decide and so do you.
*This post is also available in a YouTube video format
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